By Chris Wilkinson
I’ve said it before…and I’ll say it again: New Year’s Resolutions are dead. The Friday before last was already “Quitter’s Day” — the second Friday in January labeled as the date most people have already thrown in the towel on their resolutions.
And three days after Quitter’s Day it was “Blue Monday”, which is labeled as the most depressing day of the year. Mind you, that was started by a savvy travel company’s marketing department years back. Bravo!
There’s a confluence of reasons why resolutions are next to useless. Not the least of which are that resolutions are stale (as a concept), resolutions are too big, stress levels are at all-time highs for many, and the most important reason, they just don’t hold deep commitment in their makeup!
We have all seen the stats. Eighty to 90 per cent of resolutions are forgotten by the end of January.
What’s interesting too is that nearly two-thirds of people feel pressure to create resolutions. Not inspiring conditions under which to set important life goals.
A colleague and friend shared with me what his family has done for a number of years, and I think it’s a great replacement for resolutions! It’s a game called ‘More or Less’.
You simply make a short list of three items you want more of. And a short list of three things you want less of.
And these items don’t have to be material items. They are actually more often and better suited for qualities that we want to experience more of, or skills that we want to boost.
For example, one of my ‘more’ list items is consistency. I want to bring a simpler structure to my workday that has an even higher level of routine in it (I used to hate and repel routine by the way — it’s a control thing). And I’m going to do less of saying yes to the little distractions that pop up through my day. Like trying to get through unimportant emails. I have deleted a bunch of email subscriptions.
For you, perhaps you want more confidence. Or clarity. Or more time and space for yourself to relax a little. Or more money/wealth. Or less debt. Or more vibrant energy and health. Or less junk food or drinks. Or a better relationship and communication. Less phone addiction. Or less binge watching to create space for a hobby that has been craving some of your energy and interest to learn.
The beauty of this game is that each list is naturally created quite quickly. It’s simple. The items will come to your mind easily.
The research shows that trying to commit to big, huge changes on a dime just doesn’t work. It’s too big and overwhelming. And often too vague with uncertainty on the why and how.
What does work is bite-sized, meaningful steps. And that’s what this little game of more or less helps craft. It’s a simpler way of shifting into some manageable changes.
Whatever it is that you want some more or less of, it’s simply right in front of you already, just seeking some attention. Give it some. And jot the ideas down.
Lastly, and this is so important, chunk the new action right into your schedule. Or write the quality/trait you want to experience down somewhere that you’ll see it each morning so that you can be intentional about it. Our brains aren’t good at remembering new habits — our brain wants the same easy routine thing as the day before.
Set the reminder for each morning to connect with your ‘more or less’ item(s).
What you do not need to do is worry about all the how, about how exactly you will get it done. That will illuminate itself day by day, week by week. Just start!
Simply starting with a small first step and moving forward creates the progressive clarity that you think you need right now.
The next steps will be illuminated. Happy New Year! More or less.
Chris Wilkinson is a High Performance Coach who works with Small Business owners and entrepreneurs who want higher performance and more lifestyle freedom. For more information visit www.CoachingWithChris.ca or email Chris at info@CoachingWithChris.ca
