As the adage goes, it takes a village to raise a child; however, some moms find themselves asking, “So where’s the village?”
This was the case for Madison Batty, who, at 16, was a new teen mom. At 14, her mother, whom she lived with, passed away, and her father lived in a different city.
Wanting to stay in Williams Lake, she and her partner found their own place. Once their daughter was born, they found support through the BGC Williams Lake Club and Pregnancy Outreach Program, but outside of this, she found it difficult to connect with people. Batty needed parental advice and others to lean on, so she turned online, creating the Williams Lake Moms Facebook group in 2016.
“I was still basically a kid myself. So that’s why I started the mom group, to really just create a supportive community for moms of all ages and stages in the parenting journey,” said Batty.
The group grew quickly and, committed to keeping the group safe and judgement-free, Batty read every post, removing anything hateful or inappropriate. Before she knew it, there were 800 members, which was too much work for just herself to handle. She wrote a post to the group asking for moderators to apply and help share the workload.
Today, the private Facebook group comprises over 2,600 members, averaging 40 new posts a day. On Dec. 12, there had been 704 posts in the last 28 days. The group has three other moderators, all of whom read through every single post, filtering out any drama, Batty explained. Additionally, members can comment “admin” on a post to be immediately reviewed, and some keywords will flag the moderators, such as the word vaccine, which became controversial during the pandemic.
Still, mom groups are nothing new, so what made Williams Lake Moms so successful?
“It welcomes everybody with open arms and there’s no judgment, just this great group of understanding,” said Batty, who noted many of the other online mom groups she was a part of were catty. “We want it to be safe.”
Another thing that makes the group so unique is the vulnerability and trust among the group, which Batty attributes to the “Vegas” rule.
“If you’re in the group, don’t talk about it.”
The respect of privacy allows moms to ask a range of questions, whether basic advice, what everyone else is cooking for dinner that night, or deeper questions, like how to flee an abusive partner or if anyone could spare some groceries for a family in dire need. Without judgment, posts are flooded with comments, a herd of moms running to the rescue to offer advice or lend practical support.
For example, Batty made care packages for moms in need over Thanksgiving last year. Moms from the group donated money, turkeys, pies and other food items, allowing Batty to put together six food hampers. Some even baked fresh buns, Batty said. Once the baskets were complete, she delivered the care packages to six families in need, her daughter in tow.
“She absolutely loved it. We had so much fun,” Batty reflected.
Still, some have taken advantage of the group. One member was scammed $100 from another individual. Batty said that as hurtful as it was, as a whole, the group tends to look at the bright side, believing that the scammer must have really needed the money.
However, this is where the moderators play a crucial piece. To keep the group private and safe, it can no longer be searched for online. Only current members of the group can invite others. Once someone is invited, they answer entry questions confirming the validity of the individual, which are then sent to the moderators, who can either approve or deny the request.
Another thing that protects the members’ identity is the ability to post anonymously. Anonymous posts are first sent to the moderators to approve or deny. If approved, the posts will show up as written by an anonymous user, a further layer of protection against those sharing or asking about vulnerable things.
Batty also has a featured post pinned to the top of the group’s wall with a list of support, emergency and crisis numbers.
Group rules include being kind, respecting one another’s privacy and no hate speech or bullying.
For Batty, the group is like having another family, she said, noting how it’s given her a village to lean on, especially in the group’s earlier days.
“If I didn’t have answers to questions that I needed, that you would ask a mom, I asked [the group].”
Batty and her long-term partner married in 2022 and now have three children together, ages eight, five and three.
Along with raising her kids, she works at BGC Williams Lake Club in the youth centre. She’s also taking her criminal and social justice diploma through the College of the Rockies and in the future, hopes to become an RCMP officer. She balances the juggle with self-care, therapy, and once again, leaning into her village.
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